for you

5 more days to ORD. happy and sad. feeling kinda lost.

I have been feeling rather lethargic these days and suffering from a knn acne breakout. Fag man. I suppose what is not meant to be will not be. i not sure whether i can but i'm trying hard to restrict myself not to contact her that much but it doesn't really works. have to say that i'm really really happy whenever i receive an sms from her or whatsoever. silly huh..

However, what makes the difference is that i reply almost instantly whenever i read her sms while she takes a rather long time. seriously, when she smiles, i think she's like so beautiful. ahh,kenji gonna start bitching me again. haha. i guess i have to tell her in person, i would rather become a terren that she will say,"oh ya, i know terren" rather than "oh ya, i know terren, he's so annoying and irritating." but still, i promised to myself that i'll be there whenever she needs someone, but the thing is that only if she needs me at all in the first place..

mum has been telling me that don't take things too serious eh, because she has seen me so hurt once before. i just joked that i can think for myself better now, so fear not. I'm no longer like the 17 yrs old kid that got kinda played around with by a girl. and yes, i think i'm bullshiting to her. haha. i'm still so persistent man. i still like her, and yes i admit i still like joycelyn. i'm not gonna forget her anytime. stay happy always yeah. you look really lovely when you smile. haha. she's not gonna read this anyway. (: